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Reflections in Real Time

When Your Child Calls You In #adoptionandrace #adoptionhealing #adoptiontruths #emotionallaborinparenting #griefandgrowth #interracialfamily #parentingforchange #parentingwhiltewakingup #raisingblackchildren #whiteawakeparenting

A white mother came to me recently with tears in her eyes and truth on her heart.

Her teen had said something that stopped her in her tracks:

“Where do I go with my tears when you’re having feelings about the adoption?”

That sentence echoed in her mind like a bell she couldn’t un-ring. Her child ...

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What Love Looks Like #advocatedontassume #blackmalementor #blackmentorshipmatters #blackyouthmatter #dismantlingwhiteness #fasdawareness #humilityinparenting #intergenerationalhealing #ittakesavillage #learningtolisten #lovelookslikeshowingup #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #parentingwhilewhite #presentparent #raisingblackchildren #supportnotsavior #transracialadoption #wraparoundsupport

Melvin Hawkins Is Our Rock

There are some people who change your life just by showing up. Melvin is one of those people—for my son, and by extension, for me.

My son needed something I could never give him. Not because I didn’t love him. Not because I didn’t try. But because some things can’t be ta...

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When Family Doesn't See Your Family #adoptiveparenting #belongingandidentity #chosenfamily #familyestrangement #generationaltrauma #invisiblefamily #lovebeyondblood #parentingwhilewhite #raceandfamily #raisingblackchildren #transracialadoption #whitenessandprivilege

I’ve learned there are two kinds of pain:
The pain you expect, and the pain that catches you off guard.

The pain I expected? Sleepless nights. Toddler tantrums. The challenge of parenting children with trauma-impacted nervous systems.

The pain I didn’t expect?

That came from family.


The Obitua...

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The Hair Talk: What I Didn't Know About My Black Children's Hair #antiracistparenting #blackjoystartsathome #culturalhumillity #dobetterlearnmore #everydayracism #hairisidentity #parentingawakening #parentingwithawareness #raisingblackchildren #transracialadoption #transracialparenting #whiteawakeparenting #whiteparentswakeup

When my children were toddlers, I remember a moment in the grocery store—an older Black woman looked at my kids and said something about their hair. She was kind and gentle but I was taken aback. Defensive. Embarrassed.

Inside, I thought, Why are you criticizing me? I was doing my best. At the time...

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