Reflections in Real Time
Dismantling Whiteness Without Dismantling My Presence
The other night, my 13-year-old daughter said something that stopped me cold:
“Where am I supposed to go with my feelings?”
She wasn’t just asking a question.
She was naming a truth.
She was letting me know that in a home where I try so ha...
Melvin Hawkins Is Our Rock
There are some people who change your life just by showing up. Melvin is one of those people—for my son, and by extension, for me.
My son needed something I could never give him. Not because I didn’t love him. Not because I didn’t try. But because some things can’t be ta...
I’ve learned there are two kinds of pain:
The pain you expect, and the pain that catches you off guard.
The pain I expected? Sleepless nights. Toddler tantrums. The challenge of parenting children with trauma-impacted nervous systems.
The pain I didn’t expect?
That came from family.
The Obitua...
When my children were toddlers, I remember a moment in the grocery store—an older Black woman looked at my kids and said something about their hair. She was kind and gentle but I was taken aback. Defensive. Embarrassed.
Inside, I thought, Why are you criticizing me? I was doing my best. At the time...
