When the Apology isn't Enough: Parenting Through a Broken Mental Health System
Jun 26, 2025The mental health system is broken. If you’ve ever tried to get support for your child, you already know.
Waitlists stretch for months. Providers are maxed out (I wrote another blog post about the mental health system needing 5x as many child psychiatrists as we currently have). Agencies are scrambling to meet rising needs with limited staff — and parents like me are left to stitch together whatever care we can find.
My child has high needs. Complex needs. And for a while, we were receiving services from a mental health agency that meant well. The staff was kind. I could tell they cared. But that didn’t stop them from dropping the ball — again and again.
Eventually, after a year of navigating multiple missteps and advocating hard, we moved on. Even in the discharge process, they fumbled. They handed us off to a new provider — a highly qualified, compassionate professional — but she was never meant to carry the entire case.
The agency assumed her role was part of a care plan. They didn’t realize she was becoming the only provider. They never followed up to confirm whether the rest of the support went through. It didn’t. And they didn’t tell the new agency either.
So now my child is at risk.
Again.
And when I brought it all up? They apologized.
I could hear the sincerity in their voices. I believe they meant it.
And that’s when I lost it.
I burst into tears.
Because as they’re wrapping things up, I’m still in the thick of it.
They’re done. I’m not.
My child is still without full support.
Still at risk.
And I have no crisis line. No backup. Just me.
And maybe I’m “just” a parent — not a licensed provider. But in my humble opinion, they should have known. They should have checked. They should have made sure the pieces were in place before stepping away. That’s what care means.
They offered to take us back, but the trust is broken now.
Hell no.
I’ll find another way — because I always do.
Because I have to.
To the parents who are still navigating the chaos — I see you.
If you’ve ever sobbed on the phone with a provider because the system let you down — again — I get it.
If you’ve been handed a “referral” and told that’s the end of their role — I get it.
If you’ve stayed up at night Googling backup plans and praying for peace — I get it.
I created White Awake Parenting as a place for truth, support, and solidarity — especially for white parents raising Black and Brown children in systems that are especially dangerous when they fail.
If you’re tired of apologies with no accountability...
If you’ve learned not to trust until you see the follow-through...
If you’re still standing, even though you’re bone-tired…
You’re not alone. And you shouldn’t have to do this alone.
👉 Schedule a free consultation
Marion Van Namen
Founder White Awake Parenting
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